I can’t lie anymore. My heart is broken and I feel stupid as hell for it. I feel dumb for letting you in and treating you like a boyfriend when you didn’t want me as a girlfriend. I thought for a second that maybe if we kept communicating and spending time together that we would get closer and become something special. I was totally wrong. I been catching feelings for a guy that didn’t want me and that hurts. It honestly feels like I’m suffocating and you don’t even care. The worst part is you didn’t want to even try again with me, I would’ve thought that after the last conversation we had with almost bawling my eyes out would’ve had you think, “I might need to reconsider this.” But no, you thought that I would get over so quick like you did, but you forget you were the first in a very long time. You were special to me but I wasn’t special to you. I had love for you and you took my love and wiped your ass with it. It will be a long time before I get back to normal and longer to even consider you as a friend. So yes you did lose a friend. Yes I am avoiding you. No you don’t deserve me.