I’m done with trying to sugarcoat everything guys. I’m done with trying to keep it all together, even though I have shown some hints through my posts, I think its time for me to officially speak on the situation. I can’t keep dealing with this pain alone and I want to warn others about the signs of being involved with a narcissist. If you think you’re involved with someone that has these traits then please get out.
I thought he was a friend, so that makes it even more painful for me and easier for him to take advantage of me. I loved him and instead of seeing that and letting me in, he used my love as a weapon to stab me in the back. I knew him almost two years, I waited over one year to sleep with him and when I did, I hated it, and I wasn’t even sober. I made myself something I wasn’t to make him feel good, to make him happy. I changed my hair for him, I changed my clothes for him, I stop speaking to people that he felt was a threat (though if you seen them you wouldn’t feel threatened) for him. I spent over almost $300 on this individual. Do you know he had the nerve to even ask me to be the mother of his child? Yeah, I think that was the drugs talking . I made an effort to see him and now, he acts like I don’t even exists, especially now that there’s a new woman (victim). Now here I am having to pick up the pieces of my heart and start over. I have taken the no contact route so that I can heal, I’ve bought a few books and other products on Amazon so that I can stay busy. Anxiety and depression is at an all time high but I haven’t used alcohol as a release so that’s a positive. I got to get back to me, I especially need to get back to the blog (hence the book review post). I bought some other stuff too for some endeavors that I’m going to try out.
I gotta be honest with y’all, there’s days that I don’t even want to get out the house but now I see that I have no choice. I have to at least walk around my neighborhood to clear my head. I’ve noticed that reading bible verses and breathing exercises calm me down too. I have seen a bright side of this situation, I am a good woman, full of love, life, loyalty and patience and I know that a real man of God will appreciate that one day. I just have to get myself together .
Y’all if you have any doubts in your mind and spirit about someone, that’s your intuition and God speaking to you. Run before you end up in pieces like me. If you are already in one, get out and get counseling.