Self-Doubt as A Returning College Student

Going back to college after almost a decade has to be the most enlightening and frightening experience of my life for two reasons: time and money.

Time

The last time I was involved in any courses was May 2012, so that’s seven years. I was 22-23 years old, a lot has changed since then, I didn’t have a job, I was broke financially, mentally and emotionally. Fast forward to present-day and I’m almost 30, with a full-time job (thank God), with sporadic mental breakdowns. My way of thinking is different, my purpose is different. I know that I have to get a college education to upstart my career. Although, the main goal is still to become the Melaninated Martha Stewart, I still want and need to earn my degree. With that being said, going back to college while working a full time is no joke. For anybody that works full time and going to school, I suggest you get two planners and time management apps, and that’s just to start. It’s getting a bit nerve wrecking for me because I have noticed that my family and friends have been wanting to spend more time with me and I’ve been too busy.

Money

You guys, I owe thousands and I do mean thousands of dollars in student loan debt. I owe the salary of an executive in student loan debt and the career that I’m aiming for (Accounting) Do I want to get my Masters? No, but if I need to get it, I will make sure to save my coin to go back and make sure I work at a good company with a good Employee Tuition Assistance program.

I get so scared and anxious thinking about the possibility of failure the second time around. It’s frightening. But God and I have been talking and when I don’t want to get out of the bed, I get that extra push to get up and finish my work.

So if there’s anyone in school, working or not working, tell me your feelings, your doubts.

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